Simply Sarah Jones

It’s amazing to me that we have now been experiencing a global pandemic for 7 months now. 7 months, people. Almost 80% of my company has been hired in a completely remote context since we went to a completely work-from-home model in March.

Since quarantine started, a lot has happened in my life. Recently moved to California from Florida, I was just beginning to get my footing around my new job when the pandemic hit. A month later one of my childhood best friends and chosen family passed away unexpectedly. I got out of a relationship and into a new one. I moved in with my now-boyfriend. I have been working my ass off. I haven’t sat in a restaurant since March, and I’m simply tired.

What I don’t want to do is look back in 5 years and forget what this feels like. I needed a way to encapsulate everything that’s happened, because this is a piece of history I’d very much not like to repeat.

So, a list of how I’m feeling:

• Regarding COVID: All I have to say is that my level of trust in humanity has significantly decreased since this pandemic began. The amount of idiocracy, sheer disregard for reality & the severity of the virus, and the amount of selfishness I have seen displayed over the past 7 months has brought me to tears on numerous occasions. I have seen people at gatherings of over 50+ people, partying at bars, people putting children and seniors at risk – it blows my mind. Do I want to be trapped in my 700 square foot apartment with my significant other 24 hours a day for the rest of my life? No. But I do want this pandemic to end, and the only way that is going to happen is if we REDUCE the number of coronavirus cases. Don’t @ me.
  
• Regarding work: Warning – this is going to be an unpopular opinion so if you’d like to move to the next section I won’t blame you. But…
  I. AM. SO. TIRED. OF. SEEING. RICH. SPOILED. PRIMARILY WHITE. ADULTS. THRIVING. OFF. OF. UNEMPLOYMENT. I am getting up every day and working my ass off (as any adult should) with the added stress that if I mess up, I am going to lose my income. The amount of people I know (of) who complained when the additional $400/week of unemployment ran out because they weren’t willing to take a job that was “below them” is absolutely mind-boggling. Some of us are getting up every day and working, but I’m so glad you were able to do all the quarantine activities you were hoping for. Did your tie dying get you a job or an income? And even though you likely support political candidates who say that people are on unemployment are lazy, you think that you are different because there is a pandemic. Newsflash – you aren’t different. You just had a significantly larger safety net and your white-collar job wasn’t deemed “essential” and you’re appalled that someone with your degree could possibly be poor. Welcome to real life.
  
• Regarding racism: I don’t even know where to begin. Black Lives Matter. People suck. How far people are willing to go to protect their privilege and their power is sickening to me. To all of my Black friends and family and complete strangers that I don’t even know – I’m tired and I know you’re tired. Take care of yourselves. Rest when you need to. Turn off your brain if you need to. Get angry if you need to. Just make sure you take care of yourselves. We’re a part of a marathon, not a sprint. And we will bring change.
  
• Regarding isolation: I looked at Zach the other day and just said how much I appreciated his presence and I wanted him to know that I did not take it for granted for a second. While I am sometimes extremely frustrated at stupid things because we’ve spent too much time together, we are so disconnected physically from so many important people, that I wake up each day so grateful that I don’t live alone. This pandemic has been a true test of our innate human need for connection. And it’s wearing me down, I don’t know about you. I miss people so much. I miss hearing my friends laugh. I miss watching my sister and brother grow. I miss hearing chatter in public, instead of avoided eye contact and fear. And even though I feel like we spend more time “connecting” with our virtual happy hours and our bored FaceTimes to old friends, there’s something about the energy of another person’s presence that is just lacking. Everything just seems so bland. It’s like life is missing it’s color.
  
• Regarding music: Music saves. I miss concerts so much. That’s all.
  
• Regarding politics: The other day I asked my Papa (mom’s dad) if he had ever seen politics be this bad, corrupt, and stupid. And he got super serious on the phone and said “Sarahbeth – this is the worst I have ever seen it in my lifetime.” He’s not an extremely vocal guy when it comes to politics and his demeanor let me know how serious he was. We are living in an age where lies are accepted as truths, where hate is being favored over compassion and empathy, and where people have never been more self-interested. In a time when we all need to stand together to get through this global pandemic. Our world, our country, and our people are in danger. I implore everyone to stop thinking about yourself and what is in your best interest. Think about what will be in the best interest of our nation and all of its people in 10-20 years. There is no pie. There are no limits to what each of us can have. That’s why if we talk about reforming the reliance on the oil industry, it doesn’t mean that those people will be out of work. It means that they will work in the renewable side of the same industry. Raising minimum wage will stimulate growth. Stop bailing out the corporations who take their money from the government and turn around and fire all their employees anyways. Give the people more money so they can afford to spend. It’s not rocket science. Use your brain and think.

As you can see, I’m not spilling over rainbows and butterflies over here. It would be a lie to say that everything is okay – it isn’t. Am I going to get up tomorrow and do life and fight for what I believe in? Damn right I am. But, pretending like everything is fine would simply be a lie.

Simply,
Sarah Jones