When I was young, I remember begging my mom all the time to give me a little sister or brother to play with. “I’m bored”, I would tell her. And for 14 years, I taught myself how to make friends, or to learn to play alone.

My 14th birthday came and I remember it clear as day. My mom decided to tell me that I was finally going to have a little sister. I was a freshman in high school, and suddenly there was going to be a tiny human in the room next to me.

My reaction: “What am I going to do with it?”

Needless to say, Emily and I didn’t get started on the best of terms. I mean, how dare she come into my life and interrupt my only child attention. I felt anger towards her even though I knew she hadn’t had a choice in the decision making process.

On top of feeling inconvenienced by my parents, this all happened during the peak of my adolescent years. Teenage angst was in full force. I would lock myself in my room listening to “Gives You Hell” by the All American Rejects and “Newport Living” by Cute Is What We Aim For. The day my first crush told me he liked me, I rejected him and regretted it every day for a VERY long time. “Stickwitu” by the Pussycat Dolls will always remind me of him and that time. All of this took place from the bedroom where I shared a wall with my newborn baby sister.

Life isn’t fair.

I remember thinking this over and over when my sister was first born. Emily had the room next to me and I remember her crying, waking me up in the middle of the night. I could no longer have loud sleepovers with my other teenage friends because it “might wake her up”. I resented her. She took my parents attention and made me feel forgotten.

As Emily grew, so did my hostility. When most kids were out driving around with their friends, I got stuck babysitting. When my mom needed to take care of my newborn brother (another story for another time), I would have to take Emily with me to the grocery store.

And people would stare.

“Oh your daughter is so cute, how old is she?”

“My SISTER is two, and thank you,” I would scoff back.

I changed diapers, I fed her baby food and got puked on, I got woken up on the weekends far earlier than any teenager would ever want to be. I can’t tell you how many times I watched Doc McStuffins or listened to her shout “Baby” by Justin Bieber at the top of her lungs.

Free at last, free at last.

In 2010, I packed up my things and went to college. And boy was I ever ready to be away from my small town, my parents, and the two siblings under the age of 5 that stayed behind.

Until I wasn’t ready.

I missed my siblings, and I didn’t know what to do with this feeling in my heart.

I’d wonder if Emily was doing well and how she was liking kindergarten. I wondered if my parents were giving her the foods she loved and took her on walks around the neighborhood like we did over the summers we spent together. I wondered if our cat Lily gave her snuggles when she was upset.

Watching her go through surgeries while I was two hours away, hear about her awesome field trips that she went on, and just listening to her talk made me sad.

So incredibly grateful.

You see, my sister Emily has the purest heart of anyone I know. And it took me moving away to fully appreciate her sweetness. She prays for the less fortunate and says things like “it’s a beautiful day outside”. Her smile can make your heart melt and the minute she starts talking you realize just how smart she truly is.

All of her positive traits, by the way, I like to claim due to my personal influence 😉

Looking back, I cherish the moments where she would sneak into my bedroom on Saturday mornings, collapsing on top of me while I snuggled her tightly.

I love how much time we were able to spend together during my summers home, and how I was able to capture some of her personality through the pictures I’ve taken over the years.

I’m proud to say that we share the same middle name and I beam with joy when my mom tells me Emily has been bragging to her little friends about me or what I do.

I’m so lucky to have a little sister who looks up to me, still texts me from her iPad even now that she’s a teenager, and who will never turn down the opportunity for a dance party.

I always wanted a sister.

And boy, did I get lucky with this one. When she grows up, I hope she remembers how her bright spirit turned my attitude around, and gave me the best mini-me I could have ever asked for.

We celebrate “Sister Day” once a year. She asks me for advice on how to convince our parents to buy her a phone. I try and share little life lessons with her that I’ve learned along the way, and I’ve been in awe the past 13 years watching her grow up and become who she is today.

So, Emily Elizabeth, if you ever read this one day, I hope you know how much your big sister loves you. And how grateful I am to have such a caring, warm, confident, intelligent young lady to call my sister.

Love you lots.

Your sister,

Sarah